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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
“Simple, smart, and effective solutions to your child’s struggles.”—Harvey Karp, M.D.
“Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have created a masterly, reader-friendly guide to helping children grow their emotional intelligence. This brilliant method transforms everyday interactions into valuable brain-shaping moments. Anyone who cares for children—or who loves a child—should read The Whole-Brain Child.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain. No wonder kids throw tantrums, fight, or sulk in silence. By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth.
Complete with age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives.
“[A] useful child-rearing resource for the entire family . . . The authors include a fair amount of brain science, but they present it for both adult and child audiences.”—Kirkus Reviews
“Strategies for getting a youngster to chill out [with] compassion.”—The Washington Post
“This erudite, tender, and funny book is filled with fresh ideas based on the latest neuroscience research. I urge all parents who want kind, happy, and emotionally healthy kids to read The Whole-Brain Child. This is my new baby gift.”—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia and The Shelter of Each Other
“Gives parents and teachers ideas to get all parts of a healthy child’s brain working together.”—Parent to Parent
- Sales Rank: #555 in Books
- Brand: Bantam
- Published on: 2012-09-11
- Released on: 2012-09-11
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .50" w x 5.20" l, .31 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 192 pages
Review
Advance praise for The Whole-Brain Child
“Siegel and Bryson reveal that an integrated brain with parts that cooperate in a coordinated and balanced manner creates a better understanding of self, stronger relationships, and success in school, among other benefits. With illustrations, charts, and even a handy ‘Refrigerator Sheet,’ the authors have made every effort to make brain science parent-friendly.”—Publishers Weekly
“Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have created a masterful, reader-friendly guide to helping children grow their emotional intelligence. This brilliant method transforms everyday interactions into valuable brain-shaping moments. Anyone who cares for children—or who loves a child—should read The Whole-Brain Child.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
“Fears? Fights? Frustrations? Help is here! Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson turn leading brain science into simple, smart—and effective—solutions to your child's struggles.”—Harvey Karp, M.D., bestselling author of The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block
“This erudite, tender, and funny book is filled with fresh ideas based on the latest neuroscience research. I urge all parents who want kind, happy, and emotionally healthy kids to read The Whole-Brain Child. I wish I had read it when my kids were young, but no one knew then what Siegel and Bryson share with us in an immensely practical way. This is my new baby gift.”—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia and The Shelter of Each Other
“The Whole-Brain Child is chock-full of strategies for raising happy, resilient children. It offers powerful tools for helping children develop the emotional intelligence they will need to be successful in the world. Parents will learn ways to feel more connected to their children and more satisfied in their role as a parent. Most of all, The Whole-Brain Child helps parents teach kids about how their brain actually works, giving even very young children the self-understanding that can lead them to make good choices and, ultimately, to lead meaningful and joyful lives.”—Christine Carter, Ph.D., author of Raising Happiness
“In their dynamic and readable new book, Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson sweep aside the old models of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ parenting to offer a scientific focus: the impact of parenting on brain development. Parents will certainly recognize themselves in the lively ‘aha’ anecdotes that fill these pages. More important, they will see how everyday empathy and insight can help a child to integrate his or her experience and develop a more resilient brain.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of the bestselling Raising Cain
From the Hardcover edition.
About the Author
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., is clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center, and executive director of the Mindsight Institute. A graduate of Harvard Medical School, he is the co-author of Parenting from the Inside Out and the author of Mindsight and the internationally acclaimed professional texts The Mindful Brain and The Developing Mind. Dr. Siegel keynotes conferences and presents workshops throughout the world. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and two children.
Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., is a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist, parenting consultant, and the director of parenting education and development for the Mindsight Institute. A frequent lecturer to parents, educators, and professionals, she lives near Los Angeles with her husband and three children.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Chapter 1
Parenting with the Brain in Mind
Parents are often experts about their children's bodies. They know that a temperature above 98.6 degrees is a fever. They know to clean out a cut so it doesn't get infected. They know which foods are most likely to leave their child wired before bedtime.
But even the most caring, best-educated parents often lack basic information about their child's brain. Isn't this surprising? Especially when you consider the central role the brain plays in virtually every aspect of a child's life that parents care about: discipline, decision making, self-awareness, school, relationships, and so on. In fact, the brain pretty much determines who we are and what we do. And since the brain itself is significantly shaped by the experiences we offer as parents, knowing about the way the brain changes in response to our parenting can help us to nurture a stronger, more resilient child.
So we want to introduce you to the whole-brain perspective. We'd like to explain some fundamental concepts about the brain and help you apply your new knowledge in ways that will make parenting easier and more meaningful. We're not saying that raising a whole-brain child will get rid of all the frustrations that come with parenting. But by understanding a few simple and easy-to-master basics about how the brain works, you'll be able to better understand your child, respond more effectively to difficult situations, and build a foundation for social, emotional, and mental health. What you do as a parent matters, and we'll provide you with straightforward, scientifically based ideas that will help you build a strong relationship with your child that can help shape his brain well and give him the best foundation for a healthy and happy life.
Let us tell you a story that illustrates how useful this information can be for parents.
Eea Woo Woo
One day Marianna received a call at work telling her that her two- year-old son, Marco, had been in a car accident with his babysitter. Marco was fine, but the babysitter, who was driving, had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance.
Marianna, a principal at an elementary school, frantically rushed to the scene of the accident, where she was told that the babysitter had experienced an epileptic seizure while driving. Marianna found a firefighter unsuccessfully attempting to console her toddler. She took Marco in her arms, and he immediately began to calm down as she comforted him.
As soon as he stopped crying, Marco began telling Marianna what had happened. Using his two-year-old language, which only his parents and babysitter would be able to understand, Marco continually repeated the phrase "Eea woo woo." "Eea" is his word for "Sophia," the name of his beloved babysitter, and "woo woo" refers to his version of the siren on a fire truck (or in this case, an ambulance). By repeatedly telling his mother "Eea woo woo," Marco was focusing on the detail of the story that mattered most to him: Sophia had been taken away from him.
In a situation like this, many of us would be tempted to assure Marco that Sophia would be fine, then immediately focus on something else to get the child's mind off the situation: "Let's go get some ice cream!" In the days that followed, many parents would try to avoid upsetting their child by not discussing the accident. The problem with the "let's go get some ice cream" approach is that it leaves the child confused about what happened and why. He is still full of big and scary emotions, but he isn't allowed (or helped) to deal with them in an effective way.
Marianna didn't make that mistake. She had taken Tina's classes on parenting and the brain, and she immediately put what she knew to good use. That night and over the next week, when Marco's mind continually brought him back to the car crash, Marianna helped him retell the story over and over again. She'd say, "Yes, you and Sophia were in an accident, weren't you?" At this point, Marco would stretch out his arms and shake them, imitating Sophia's seizure. Marianna would continue, "Yes, Sophia had a seizure and started shaking, and the car crashed, didn't it?" Marco's next statement was, of course, the familiar "Eea woo woo," to which Marianna would respond, "That's right. The woo woo came and took Sophia to the doctor. And now she's all better. Remember when we went to see her yesterday? She's doing just fine, isn't she?"
In allowing Marco to repeatedly retell the story, Marianna was helping him understand what had happened so he could begin to deal with it emotionally. Since she knew the importance of helping her son's brain process the frightening experience, she helped him tell and retell the events so that he could process his fear and go on with his daily routines in a healthy and balanced way. Over the next few days, Marco brought up the accident less and less, until it became just another of his life experiences-albeit an important one.
As you read the following pages, you'll learn specifics about why Marianna responded as she did, and why, both practically and neurologically, it was so helpful to her son. You'll be able to apply your new knowledge about the brain in numerous ways that make parenting your own child more manageable and meaningful.
The concept at the heart of Marianna's response, and of this book, is integration. A clear understanding of integration will give you the power to completely transform the way you think about parenting your kids. It can help you enjoy them more and better prepare them to live emotionally rich and rewarding lives.
What Is Integration and Why Does It Matter?
Most of us don't think about the fact that our brain has many different parts with different jobs. For example, you have a left side of the brain that helps you think logically and organize thoughts into sentences, and a right side that helps you experience emotions and read nonverbal cues. You also have a "reptile brain" that allows you to act instinctually and make split-second survival decisions, and a "mammal brain" that leads you toward connection and relationships. One part of your brain is devoted to dealing with memory; another to making moral and ethical decisions. It's almost as if your brain has multiple personalities-some rational, some irrational; some reflective, some reactive. No wonder we can seem like different people at different times!
The key to thriving is to help these parts work well together-to integrate them. Integration takes the distinct parts of your brain and helps them work together as a whole. It's similar to what happens in the body, which has different organs to perform different jobs: the lungs breathe air, the heart pumps blood, the stomach digests food. For the body to be healthy, these organs all need to be integrated. In other words, they each need to do their individual job while also working together as a whole. Integration is simply that: linking different elements together to make a well-functioning whole. Just as with the healthy functioning of the body, your brain can't perform at its best unless its different parts work together in a coordinated and balanced way. That's what integration does: it coordinates and balances the separate regions of the brain that it links together. It's easy to see when our kids aren't integrated-they become overwhelmed by their emotions, confused and chaotic. They can't respond calmly and capably to the situation at hand. Tantrums, meltdowns, aggression, and most of the other challenging experiences of parenting-and life-are a result of a loss of integration, also known as dis-integration.
We want to help our children become better integrated so they can use their whole brain in a coordinated way. For example, we want them to be horizontally integrated, so that their left-brain logic can work well with their right-brain emotion. We also want them to be vertically integrated, so that the physically higher parts of their brain, which let them thoughtfully consider their actions, work well with the lower parts, which are more concerned with instinct, gut reactions, and survival.
The way integration actually takes place is fascinating, and it's something that most people aren't aware of. In recent years, scientists have developed brain-scanning technology that allows researchers to study the brain in ways that were never before possible. This new technology has confirmed much of what we previously believed about the brain. However, one of the surprises that has shaken the very foundations of neuroscience is the discovery that the brain is actually "plastic," or moldable. This means that the brain physically changes throughout the course of our lives, not just in childhood, as we had previously assumed.
What molds our brain? Experience. Even into old age, our experiences actually change the physical structure of the brain. When we undergo an experience, our brain cells-called neurons-become active, or "fire." The brain has one hundred billion neurons, each with an average of ten thousand connections to other neurons. The ways in which particular circuits in the brain are activated determines the nature of our mental activity, ranging from perceiving sights or sounds to more abstract thought and reasoning. When neurons fire together, they grow new connections between them. Over time, the connections that result from firing lead to "rewiring" in the brain. This is incredibly exciting news. It means that we aren't held captive for the rest of our lives by the way our brain works at this moment-we can actually rewire it so that we can be healthier and happier. This is true not only for children and adolescents, but also for each of us across the life span.
Right now, your child's brain is constantly being wired and rewired, and the experiences you provide will go a long way toward determining the structure of her brain. No pressure, right? Don't worry, though. Nature has provided that the basic architecture of the brain will develop well given proper food, sleep, and stimulation. Genes, of course, play a large role in how people turn out, especially in terms of temperament. But findings from various areas in developmental psychology suggest that everything that happens to us-the music we hear, the people we love, the books we read, the kind of discipline we receive, the emotions we feel-profoundly affects the way our brain develops. In other words, on top of our basic brain architecture and our inborn temperament, parents have much they can do to provide the kinds of experiences that will help develop a resilient, well- integrated brain. This book will show you how to use everyday experiences to help your child's brain become more and more integrated.
For example, children whose parents talk with them about their experiences tend to have better access to the memories of those experiences. Parents who speak with their children about their feelings have children who develop emotional intelligence and can understand their own and other people's feelings more fully. Shy children whose parents nurture a sense of courage by offering supportive explorations of the world tend to lose their behavioral inhibition, while those who are excessively protected or insensitively thrust into anxiety-provoking experiences without support tend to maintain their shyness.
There is a whole field of the science of child development and attachment backing up this view-and the new findings in the field of neuroplasticity support the perspective that parents can directly shape the unfolding growth of their child's brain according to what experiences they offer. For example, hours of screen time-playing video games, watching television, texting-will wire the brain in certain ways. Educational activities, sports, and music will wire it in other ways. Spending time with family and friends and learning about relationships, especially with face-to-face interactions, will wire it in yet other ways. Everything that happens to us affects the way the brain develops.
This wire-and-rewire process is what integration is all about: giving our children experiences to create connections between different parts of the brain. When these parts collaborate, they create and reinforce the integrative fibers that link different parts of the brain. As a result, they are connected in more powerful ways and can work together even more harmoniously. Just as individual singers in a choir can weave their distinct voices into a harmony that would be impossible for any one person to create, an integrated brain is capable of doing much more than its individual parts could accomplish alone.
That's what we want to do for each of our kids: help their brain become more integrated so they can use their mental resources to full capacity. This is exactly what Marianna did for Marco. When she helped him retell the story over and over again ("Eea woo woo"), she defused the scary and traumatic emotions in his right brain so that they didn't rule him. She did so by bringing in factual details and logic from his left brain-which, at two years old, is just beginning to develop-so that he could deal with the accident in a way that made sense to him.
If his mother hadn't helped him tell and understand the story, Marco's fears would have been left unresolved and could have surfaced in other ways. He might have developed a phobia about riding in cars or being separated from his parents, or his right brain might have raged out of control in other ways, causing him to tantrum frequently. Instead, by telling the story with Marco, Marianna helped focus his attention both on the actual details of the accident and on his emotions, which allowed him to use both the left and right sides of his brain together, literally strengthening their connection. (We'll explain this particular concept much more fully in chapter 2.) By helping him become better integrated, he could return to being a normal, developing two-year-old rather than dwelling on the fear and distress he had experienced.
Let's look at another example. Now that you and your siblings are adults, do you still fight over who gets to push the button for the elevator? Of course not. (Well, we hope not.) But do your kids squabble and bicker over this kind of issue? If they're typical kids, they do.
The reason behind this difference brings us back to the brain and integration. Sibling rivalry is like so many other issues that make parenting difficult-tantrums, disobedience, homework battles, discipline matters, and so on. As we'll explain in the coming chapters, these everyday parenting challenges result from a lack of integration within your child's brain. The reason her brain isn't always capable of integration is simple: it hasn't had time to develop. In fact, it's got a long way to go, since a person's brain isn't considered fully developed until she reaches her mid-twenties.
So that's the bad news: you have to wait for your child's brain to develop. That's right. No matter how brilliant you think your preschooler is, she does not have the brain of a ten-year-old, and won't for several years. The rate of brain maturation is largely influenced by the genes we inherit. But the degree of integration may be exactly what we can influence in our day-to-day parenting.
From the Hardcover edition.
Most helpful customer reviews
336 of 357 people found the following review helpful.
Pretty darn good - though not "revolutionary" - parenting advice
By Ready Mommy
Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson's "The Whole Brain Child" fails to deliver on the titular promise of "revolutionary" parenting strategies to "truly help your kids be happier, healthier, and more fully themselves"; it does, however, provide innovative and effective explanations, packaging, and delivery of many tried-and-true parenting techniques that turn out to be neuroscientifically based.
The first four chapters are the love child of the Johns - Medina's "Brain Rules for Baby" and Gottman's "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child." Like Medina, Siegel and Bryson show great talent for breaking down complex science into readily understandable terms (they even surpass him when explaining implicit memory). Yet whereas Medina carefully limits himself to truly definitive (i.e., research-backed) conclusions, Siegel and Bryson - like Gottman - go further, using available data as a theoretical springboard for vaunting specific, mostly emotion-related practices. The following seven strategies result: (1) "Connect and Redirect: [Helping Kids Learn to Surf] Emotional Waves"; (2) "Name It to Tame It: Telling Stories to Calm Big Emotions"; (3) "Engage, Don't Enrage: Appealing to the Upstairs Brain"; (4) "Use It or Lose It: Exercising the Upstairs Brain"; (5) "Move It or Lose It: Moving the Body to Avoid Losing the Mind"; (6) "Use the Remote of the Mind: Replaying Memories"; and (7) "Remember to Remember: Making Recollection a Part of Your Family's Daily Life."
The fifth and sixth chapters, however, throw a little of Susan Stiffelman's "Parenting Without Power Struggles" into the mix, offering child therapy techniques and explaining why they work through the prism of brain science. Strategies eight through twelve are: (8) "Let the Clouds of Emotion Roll By: Teaching That Feelings Come and Go"; (9) "SIFT[, or Sensations, Images, Feelings, and Thoughts]: Paying Attention to What's Going On Inside"; (10) "Exercise Mindsight: Getting Back to the Hub[, or, Learning to See Your Internal Forest for the Trees]"; (11) "Increase the Family Fun Factor: Making a Point to Enjoy Each Other"; and (12) "Connect Through Conflict: Teach Kids to Argue with a `We' in Mind."
Their premise is that these twelve strategies help "integrate" children's brains, that is, "coordinate[] and balance[] the separate regions of the brain" so as to optimize mental health. Using the image of a child inside a canoe floating down a river, they explain that veering close to the bank of chaos leaves the kid feeling too out of control to relax whereas drifting close to the bank of rigidity makes the kid too rigid to function ideally (instead "imposing control on everything and everyone"). "By helping our kids connect left [brain] and right [brain]" - as well as their "upstairs" and "downstairs" brains and implicit and explicit memories - "we give them a better chance of [finding] . . . harmonious flow between the[] two extremes," which in turn will minimize tantrums and other results of "dis-integration." Of course, they warn, the results won't be perfect both because we should expect imperfection in ourselves as parents and because kids are biologically unable to always "be rational, regulate their emotions, make good decisions, think before acting, and be empathetic."
So far all we've got is clever packaging and some fun analogies for pretty standard knowledge regarding keeping kids calm. The true deliciousness of what Siegel and Bryson bring to the table is a self-awareness that is two-fold, one not unique and the other truly so. First, like Medina, the authors apply their knowledge of the brain to their own project, creating a structure that maximizes retention and usefulness, including the descriptive "strategies" as chapter sub-headings, a "refrigerator sheet" that summarizes a few details under each strategy, an "ages and stages" chart that emphasizes different applications for children of different ages, and acronyms (e.g., "before you over-analyze the situation, HALT and check the basics: is your little [one] simply hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?").
Second, and most thrilling, the authors provide graphics and suggestions for talking to kids about the way their brains and bodies work, giving children an opportunity to consciously take part in regulation of their own emotions and behavior. For the past few years, I've tried to provide my toddler with ownership over her well-being, telling her about some of the parenting techniques I read about, giving her a head's up that I intend to use them, and then chatting about their effectiveness. But I've never read about doing this in a parenting book, and certainly haven't heard anyone suggest starting with brain science. At their suggestion I said to my toddler, "You know how when you're happy, your brain puts a smile on your face? Well, the same thing works backwards a little. If you smile for a while, even if you're sad, you'll start to feel a bit better." And that's just the beginning. Pretty freaking cool, guys.
Finally, I want to share two interesting tidbits from "The Whole Brain Child" approach that contradict standard parenting advice but perfectly align with my parenting instincts:
"An upstairs tantrum occurs when a child essentially decides to throw a fit. . . . A downstairs tantrum is completely different. Here, a child becomes so upset that he's no longer able to use his upstairs brain." With respect to the former, parents ought to follow standard advice, ignoring the antics and enforcing pre-established boundaries; when the latter type of fit is in play, however, "a completely different parental response is called for . . . much more nurturing and comforting."
"In high-stress situations, engage your child's upstairs brain, which is where his higher-order thinking takes place. Rather than triggering the more primitive and reactive downstairs brain with the `Because I said so!' card, ask questions, collaborate, and even negotiate. The more you can appeal to the upstairs brain and engage him in critical thinking and processing, the more your child will think and act and decide, rather than simply reacting to what he's feeling."
On the "eh" side of the scale, "The Whole Brain Child" is more useful for older children than younger ones, is often redundant and long-winded (darned brain scientists trying to make information stick), and isn't as comprehensive as "Parenting with Love & Logic." But there's quite a bit to celebrate here. Though Spiegel and Bryson don't offer much that's new in the realm of what parents ought to do, "The Whole Brain Child" adds value to the genre in providing the why and organizing the what into an easily understood, memorable, and, yes, at one point even "revolutionary," how.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Best guide for working with children, teens (and those moments when you catch yourself acting like one!)
By S. Paul
Super five star plus! This is by far one of the most useful parenting guides ever. I have a lot of experience with children both as a volunteer educator, trained foster parent, and as a parent of four and now grandparent of eleven. Even at this point in my life, I find the ideas in this book insightful and practical. I like the way the concepts are presented along with examples that really help with understanding. If the examples aren't enough, there are illustrated dialogs that make the process quite clear. Actually, this is a book that is helpful for working with people of ALL AGES. We may mature as we age and engage parts of our brain a little differently, but the reality (in my experience) is that the definition of maturity is that we act like a two-year old less often. We all have stressful moments when we revert back to more reactive lower brain thinking. I highly recommend this book to all parents and anyone who interacts with children, but even those who don't may find this book helps shine a light on how our brains work and how that affects our reactions and interactions. Very, very clear, easy, short and useful.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Intimidating science, translated beautifully for the common reader, and applied astutely to parent-child interactions.
By Jacob Moore
This is a very well conceived and executed book, and very worth your time. The authors do a tremendous job of translating neurobiology and cognitive psychology into basic language for a general audience, for use in direct child interactions. Through each of their 12 strategies for understanding and interacting with "The Whole-Brained Child," the authors begin by describing in an unintimidating manner the portion of the brain and its function that will be subsequently discussed from a behavioral standpoint. From here, they use that behavioral basis and give very detailed examples of how to handle child behavior stemming from the associated biology, referring back to the brain as a reference point rather than as the focus.
The point of the book, all science aside, is in dealing with certain child developmental features and behaviors (such as implicit memory, tantrums, fear of failure) by connecting with children directly. The science is used to serve as a backdrop but is a fascinating addition to what otherwise would be a simple behavioral book. Instead of just saying HOW to interact with children, the authors show us WHY, which lends a much greater and more nuanced understanding to the how. This book provides a unique opportunity to read about everyday situations with children and relate them quickly and easily to a neurobiological level.
Though the authors say the book can be for direct childcare practitioners (such as teachers and daycare workers), the obvious target is parents. Here there are some issues. The book seems to be written for a white, suburban, middle class parent as opposed to the general population. Additionally, the practicality of some of the strategies is not immediately apparent, and the amount of effort required for many parents will be substantial - a paradigm shift for some ways. The illustrations are helpful in showing the dos and don'ts (not labelled as such, thankfully), but I found myself thinking the don'ts were many parent's default. The strategies really are a shift in thinking and require a lot of skill and investment to execute, but they are definitely achievable. In no way does this book alienate parents with over-expectations.
I also felt some situations I felt were not addressed adequately. Most of the examples of child behavior and parental involvement deal with more mundane, everyday occurrences from the 'average' child. If you are interested in how to explain to your child what death is, this book doesn't venture into those dangerous waters. Nor does it address more difficult children. Additionally, the section of bringing implicit memories to the explicit is somewhat suspect in its claims and its basis, which some may find hypocritical. If implicit memories are necessarily altered as the authors say, why would a parent with altered memories of an incident helping a child reconstruct the child's own altered memories of that same incident serve to help the child? I wonder too about parental inconsistency when using these strategies. Again, they are intensive and hard to do in the moment the behavior is being exhibited by the child. I do believe these are not major issues, however. The authors' stress on underlying the importance of connection, integration of thought, and mindset make most of the above manageable simply by establishing a trusting baseline relationship with the child.
Overall, I believe the pros of this book outweigh the negatives, though they should be noted. The authors' ability to successfully and fluently translate incredibly intricate science to the common reader (no college degree seems necessary for reading, but a level of literacy is assumed) is no small feat. It makes me wish more laboratory experiments that have real-world implications can be taken by researchers into the hands of the people that actually need and use them on a daily basis. Parents will find the strategies difficult to implement and will certainly encounter situations not touched upon here, but this is well worth the read. And it won't take you long...the writing style is easy to follow, the science unobtrusive and accessible, and the situations are often in dialogue-form and wonderfully vivid. Along with the illustrations and a very helpful appendix at the end denoting in which age ranges a parent should expect certain behaviors to manifest in, this book is a win.
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